By Roy Schafer
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Julia Kristeva's Hatred and Forgiveness (European Perspectives: A Series in PDF
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Extra info for Bad feelings: selected psychoanalytic essays
Example text
A p a r t from providing relief from c u r rent p a i n f u l experience, one's t u r n i n g to comedies, love sto ries, a n d r o m a n t i c adventures might also serve a u x i l i a r y functions of keeping alive hopes for the future. M o r e often, however, a n a l y s i s suggests that these i d e a l ized m e m o r i e s a n d fantasies are b e i n g u s e d defensively to j u s t i f y intense d i s a p p o i n t m e n t i n the present. T h e strategy is t h a t of c o n t r a s t i n g w h a t is present a n d expected w i t h a glorious edenic past: a p a s t free of a m b i v a l e n c e , p a i n , a n d u n c e r t a i n t y ; a p a s t i n w h i c h people felt s e c u r e a n d a u t h e n t i c w i t h i n themselves a n d i n their families a n d c o m m u n i t y ; a p a s t w h e n everything w a s s i m p l e r a n d better.
1921) showed Freud that these p a i n f u l associated (1905) a n d experiences often express a n a l fantasies. Traditionally, the linkage of extreme s h a m e to anality h a s b e e n thought to develop espe cially a r o u n d the time of early habit training, p a r t i c u l a r l y toilet t r a i n i n g . Optimally, that t r a i n i n g is designed to carry only the message that one is being trained to be a p p r o p r i ate, well socialized, clean, regular, a n d healthy. T h e i n tended e m p h a s i s is o n adaptation: the importance of being a n acceptable, respectable m e m b e r of the c o m m u n i t y , m o s t of all w i t h that special c o m m u n i t y , the family.
M a n y analysands come to realize d u r i n g their treatment that, i n their a d u l t years, t h i s strategy h a s become p r i m a r i l y , if not e x c l u sively, a self-fulfilling p r o p h e c y . T h e d e s p a i r i n g orientation d i d help t h e m survive the emotionally h o r r i b l e years of c h i l d h o o d s p e n t i n extremely d y s f u n c t i o n a l families; y o n d that, it c o u l d even have sheltered the flickering be flame of a c a n d l e of h o p e f u l n e s s from the h a r s h w i n d s b l o w i n g a b o u t it.
