Bill, the Galactic Hero: On the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure - download pdf or read online

By Harry Harrison

Bill's in hassle back. A hideous outer-space an infection has remodeled certainly one of his toes right into a satyr's hoof; he has correct arms; the nurses on the health facility the place he lies getting better from his final escapade are metal robots. yet quickly he is off back looking for technological know-how fiction's maximum cliches.

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Extra info for Bill, the Galactic Hero: On the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure (Bill, the Galactic Hero)

Example text

Much too bizarre and depressing. When in doubt, lie, as the old Trooper motto ran. "I'm a fighting fool of a Galactic Trooper. Ran into a radiation storm in the course of my highly classified duties. " "I can't tell you. " "Well we really are a bundle of secrets! And a Trooper to boot. Which fact I find highly relevant. I have just lost me first mate to a case of venereal scurvy. I told the fool to use the impervium condoms if he was going to vacation in the Backdooria system. A little uncomfortable, yes.

What pleasure to realize that he had finally become a Technical Fertilizer Operator! Thus fulfilling his life-time ambition. It was an easy life, even if it was a crappy job, easier than the Troopers, and Bill quickly got pretty used to things. Also, Rick was as good as his word on the dove business — he'd gotten out a can of "Loo Stasis," a special electronic fix for noisome starship heads, and gave the bird a good blast. The smell had ceased immediately, and would theoretically stay away for a couple of months.

He pointed out the dark green building beyond a boulder that Bill had missed. " "Could you give me a lift up to Olympus, Rick? " Bill's nose cringed as he looked down at the dead dove. Flies buzzed around the thing; the x's in the corpse's eyes x'ed back at him emptily. "Yes, 'tis getting a little ripe, ain't it. Well, me hearty! I'll make you a deal. You come along with me, be my first mate, and I'll put that avian in a stasis field. " asked Bill suspiciously. Christians had a generally bad reputation on Phigerinadon II, ever since that Holy Roller show had held a revival on the Phalanges Continent amongst the Donner Settlement.

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