By Lisa Kogan
"[Kogan's] wry observations of lifestyle will hearten you in your worst days, validate you in your most sensible, and make you chuckle any day at all." — Martha Beck, writer of awaiting Adam and discovering your individual North Star
"Someone could be with You almost immediately is a tasty mixture of wit, whimsy, pith, and poignancy. If David Sedaris have been a girl... this can be the ebook he'd write." — Evan Handler, writer of It's merely Temporary
Someone may be with You presently is a suite of the hilarious and poignant essays from cherished O journal columnist Lisa Kogan. Writing within the vein of Nora Ephron, Kogan has been known as "the Erma Bombeck of our generation" (Kelly Corrigan, writer of the center position and Lift). In somebody might be with You presently, she brings her trademark humor to such real-life quandaries as unmarried motherhood, getting older, and sex.
Read Online or Download Someone Will Be with You Shortly: Notes from a Perfectly Imperfect Life PDF
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Extra resources for Someone Will Be with You Shortly: Notes from a Perfectly Imperfect Life
Sample text
The truth is, that as soon as the ship was fairly at sea, he was degraded from his captaincy by Mr. Leary (owner of the vessel) & Mr. ) As he was not a passenger, & had now ceased to be an officer, it was something of a puzzle to define his position. However, as he still had authority to discharge waiter-boys—an authority which the passengers did not possess—it was presently decided, privately, that he must naturally be the “head-waiter;” & thus was he dubbed. During the voyage he gave orders to none but his under-waiters; all the excursionists will testify to this.
All hands bewitched with it. It is wonderful pic dialogue. It didn’t seem wonderful (for you) when you read it to me. I think you have a gift or faculty of disguising the merit of your productions when you read them aloud. I know it, in fact. The Parlor Car was as much as 25 times better, in print, than it was when you read it to me. My lawsuit is done. The villain got only $300 out of me instead of $10,000, & the his lawyer got that. My lawyer’s bill & some little items, added to the $300 only swelled my expense to $800—so I got off admirably well.
These little things do not furnish it. Why does the “captain” make no mention of the highway robbery which I committed on the road between Jerusalem & the Dead Sea? He must have heard of it—the land was full of it. Why does he make no mention of the fact that during the entire excursion I never drew a sober breath except by proxy? Why does he conceal the fact that I killed a cripple in Cairo because I thought he had an unpleasant gait? Why is he silent about my skinning a leper in Smyrna in order that I might have a little something to start a museum with when I got home?
